Ask Ilchibuko: Managing Long Distance Relationships

Someone asked me this question: “Does distance affect love? What should partners do to stay in love despite the distance between them?”

The Different Types of Love 

There is a kind of love that is completely dependent on physical contact. Of course, that is a natural part of loving each other. But there is a love that stands the test of distance. It can even develop and flourish despite how far away the two lovers are from each other.

This type of love isn’t merely based on physical attraction but on a deep connection. It’s the kind of love that has complete trust, giving, acceptance, and understanding. I believe human beings can experience that without physical contact at all. Distance is also a test of unconditional love.

If a person can love, care, accept, understand, and trust someone fully, their relationship will last thousands of years. Even if they don’t see the one they love, it is possible for true love to remain.

Making a Long Distance Relationship Possible and Fulfilling 

If you’re in a long-distance relationship and being apart from your partner bothers you because you (1) feel lonely, or (2) you can’t stand seeing him/her with other people because it makes you jealous, or (3) because of the distance between you, you can’t police his/her every move and investigate whether that person is cheating on you, then it will be very difficult for the two of you to stay in a relationship, long-distance or otherwise.

When we focus on love that way, we become calculating, controlling, demanding, distrustful because that kind of love is coming from our limited or small self, which we call ego. Ego’s assumption is that we are disconnected, separate beings. That’s why doubt comes in. We begin to doubt whether we will get back as much as we are giving.

Instead, I recommend manifesting a love that comes from your soul. The love from the soul is unconditional and expects nothing in return because it comes from the self that is already a part of the One, connected, and abundant.

If you truly wish to stay in a long-distance relationship, you can consider it a rare opportunity for you to grow and express your genuine, unconditional love for each other.

Nowadays, with the advanced technology available, video calls are possible, too. Today, even if you’re in a different country, you can see the facial expression of the one you are talking to. Because we are made up of energy, and energy moves beyond our physical bodies, no matter how far apart we are from each other, we can feel the connection of energy. We also say that the eyes are the windows of the soul. So, express your soul’s love as you look into each other’s eyes.

If you can connect that way, you will find your love deepening.

I am not saying that being together physically is not important. If you feel that being together physically is important, I hope you will not hesitate to see each other even if it is a challenge to get together, even if it is for a short period of time.

If you are truly meant to be together, and you continuously share your genuine minds with each other, then there will always be a way to manage your long-distance relationship successfully. Please keep in mind that physical affection is not the only way for you to express your true love.

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